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soldier portrait face camouflage gritty war conflict military eyes nose mouth cheeks forehead chin neck shoulders uniform helmet goggles gun rifle weapon ammo belt pouches backpack boots fatigue weary tired exhausted battle combat front lines PTSD shell shock trauma mental health injury wounded scarred disfigured pain suffering anguish despair hopelessness lost alone abandoned forgotten betrayed deceived lied to used expendable cannon fodder meat grinder abattoir slaughterhouse carnage bloodshed gore violence death dying killed murdered executed annihilated obliterated wiped out extinct gone vanished disappeared forgotten lost to history never to be seen again